Fertility Treatments

Life has been such a whirlwind lately! I started my new job as a Kindergarten teacher in August. It has been such an amazing adventure so far. I have made such incredible friends there and love the kids I work with so much. Not to sound cliche or anything but those kids are amazing and they have really changed my life. Spencer is working a ton at the pharmacy still and is trudging through school. He has about a year left before he finishes his Bachelor degree and he is very excited to finish so he can get working on his Masters degree.

Besides all the wonderful things happening in our academic and professional lives Spencer and I have been so blessed as we've tried to start our family. While it wasn't a secret, we didn't publicly broadcast that we were having a difficult time trying to get pregnant. We started talking about planning a family Summer of 2015. Soon after that I went off birth control and we started trying. My family history of getting pregnant seemed pretty promising; all of the women in my family, that I was aware of, didn't really seem to have a problem getting pregnant and in fact they got pregnant pretty quickly. I expected it would be the same for Spencer and I, so when month after month passed I became very discouraged.

It's hard to describe the roller coaster of emotions you feel every month while trying to conceive. When each month started over a new hope consumed me that that month would finally be the month when we would be blessed with our little miracle. Each month usually ended with me thinking that maybe I was pregnant, dropping money on a pregnancy test, seeing a negative result, hoping that maybe it was just too early too tell, anxiously waiting for my period to come or not, only to be disappointed again. The first few months of negative results were discouraging but bearable, but as time continued to pass each time my period would start again it was a devastating experience for me. I don't mean to sound dramatic, but it is hard to describe the immense sadness you feel when you want a baby so badly but for whatever reason it just isn't working out for you.

After almost a year had passed a friend of mine referred me to a fertility clinic in Pleasant Grove, Utah. So many miracles happened so that Spencer and I could go there. When we first called to schedule an appointment they were booked out 3 months. We added our name to a cancellation list in case someone's appointment fell through, but they told us not to count on that happening. Meanwhile, as we waited for our appointment, I got hired at my new job as a Kindergarten teacher. The school I teach at happens to be 2 minutes away from the fertility clinic we would go to. My job started the beginning of August and our first appointment wasn't scheduled until the beginning of September. I was uncertain how we would be able to make our appointments work with my new work schedule, but miraculously someone cancelled and we were able to get into the doctor a month and a half earlier than we planned.

For fertility treatments you are required to go into the doctor very frequently so they can track your cycle and measure your hormones. Spencer and I both had some tests done. After some ultrasounds our doctor determined that I didn't appear to be ovulating regularly. So the doctor prescribed me clomid. I also had to do an HCG injection, and then after that I had to take progesterone daily. After all of this we waited a couple weeks before I went in for a blood test to see if the treatment worked and if we were pregnant or not. I went to work right after they drew my blood. A few hours later I got a phone call saying that everything looked great and that the treatments had worked. So I didn't find out the traditional way, but that was one of the best phone calls I ever got. I seriously can't describe how blessed I feel that fertility treatments worked so quickly for us.

I know our experience can't really be compared to everyone who has struggled with infertilty. In the big picture our trial was small in comparison to what many other couples have gone through. But our experience really opened my heart to the pain and longing that many couples experience. It can be such an isolating and ugly trial to go through. It's difficult when your friends become pregnant so easily or your see family members with their babies and you are filled with guilt because you feel so jealous of what they have. Through this whole experience I learned so much about the atonement of Jesus Christ. There were so many days when I felt so hopeless and alone and listening to hymns or reading my scriptures was the only thing that could bring me peace. This whole experience also tried my faith, but I really do know that God has a plan for me and Spencer and for whatever reason this trial was necessary for us to go through together. I don't know who goes through and reads my posts, but if anyone happens to read this who has struggled or is struggling with infertility know you are not alone. Know that I am so sorry that you are experiencing this heartbreak. Most importantly know that even on your darkest, loneliest days I know God is aware of you and loves you. All will be well and your hearts desires will be met one way or another.